Wedding Day Run-through: the final, most fun bits!

Again, sorry for the grammatical errors.

Pretty much all of these pictures are from rock star Jade at Uplift Photography.

8:10 pm: Reception time! A panicked DOC tells us that two couples have no seats. I immediately feel that I must have screwed up the seating. I later learn that our venue only put 8 instead of 10 seats at one table, and another couple just flat out refused to sit where they were assigned. It all worked out in the end, because of a few no-shows. But I was kicking myself around for a good amount of time over it. I, then, exchange my evil heels for my ballroom shoes. Ralph and I dance as husband and wife. We do what is comfy for us and had a great time with each other being silly.


Next is the parent's dance. I immediately hear the song and wonder why the DJ had to pick the longer live version of Fleetwood Mac's Landside. I hate recorded live music played at events. My dad does a great job for a man that hasn't danced in close to 25 years. We have a fun time being silly too. I notice that Esther loves our song choice.

(I love how cute Ralph and Esther look here. The look I am giving my dad is awesome!)

Toasts are wonderful by our siblings. Donna was awesome and gave an unexpectedly non-sarcastic speech. Dave's speech was exactly what I expected. I hoped that everyone got his humor. I certainly did and I loved it.



8:20 pm: Dinner is being served. The seated appetizer was horribly disappointing. I LOVE crab cakes, but this one tasted eh, and the sauce is much too spicy for a broad audience. I eat like 3 tiny bites.

(apparently Adam liked it and even ate the crayfish garnish)

The Hearts of Palm salad eventually comes out, but where are the Hearts of Palm? It is good, but where is the best part? I get some aspirin in me, now that I have food in my belly, and immediately feel better. The main entree takes forever to come out and Ralph and I are ansy to go to each table and visit with our guests. I finally take a bathroom break by demanding that my new sistah Donna come to help me go. I return to find my entree, which is in some serious need of salt. I can't find the salt, as it was hidden behind the flowers, I eat three bites and then go and visit the tables. Our DJ tells us that we are running late due to the very slow dinner service and need to start the music. We hold him off for a bit to go and visit the tables, but we still miss 2 tables. I still feel really bad about this.


Now, I have no idea about time....

• With no headache anymore, I finally drank some Champagne. I think I drank a single glass over the entire night.
• I had a blast on the dancefloor and was so glad that Ralph stayed with me.

• I kept complaining about the heat. It was hot the moment we walked in - what was up with that?
• I noticed people with no shoes and then kindly asked someone to make sure that the flip flops were placed out. They finally appeared and I directed the barefooters there. It was a hit!

(I think this is a Marjie foot)

• The DJ played all the songs we requested and included a few songs that were right up our alley, however, they weren't mixed that well and he cut out alot of the crecendos and best parts of songs. Ralph and I were really sad about this, but understood that he needed to fit all our "must play" songs into a limited amount of time since dinner took too long. It didn't ruin anything for us and we were happy that the dancefloor was always kicking.
  
• We visited with people outside, where it was much cooler. I danced a bit out there too.

• My mom was in the bathroom during the playing of Dancing Queen. I tried to find her, but I didn't look there.
• I kept checking in with my Dad who was very amused at all the fun people were having.
• Cake cutting time. We had no idea what to do! We winged it and then winged it again.

• Garter removal. I had no idea what was coming! I sat out there and for some reason had no idea what the DJ was going to do. Ralph's dance was soooo classic Ralph. I love that he chugged the beer - because he knew what was coming.

• Bouquet Toss. Totally planned. I knew exactly who I was throwing it to. She just moved, but then actually caught it.

• Garter Toss. I see that my brother Dave actually went for it.

• More dancing insues. Ralph stayed on the dancefloor all night.

(Ralph's Grandmother - who rocked it all night. She says that this is the way she is 90-something young)

• We end the night with one slow song (Clapton's Wonderful Tonight) and then go into Journey's Don't Stop Believing. Somehow we become encircled as we dance/sing the silly song. The funny thing is that Journey followed us on our honeymoon and had a concert right next to our resort. We totally tailgated and stayed for half the show. I have a feeling that Don't Stop Believing was saved for the last song too. I was too chilly to wait for it.

• I try to give away as many flowers as possible. I snag a bunch of leftover favors. I try and help with clean up as Ralph yells at me to stop. I give in and we head off to our sassy little Chevy Cobalt. People keep telling me that the limo is waiting for us... he he, that ride was for my parents and family.
• We go back to the hotel room only to find this (thanks to Heather, Emily, and Corey)....

There is no other way to say it: we had a freaking blast!!!! Thank you to everyone. xoxoxo

(my amazing necklace was Ralph's gift to me - it was the most perfect gift ever)



(Our last day in Hawai'i, walking the coastline)

Wedding day run-through continued

Note - I sincerely apologize for my gramatical errors.

Hmmm so where did I leave off....

4:1o-ish pm: Ralph and I are taking pictures. The limo arrives and my brothers come in the lobby only to see me stretched out on the chaise lounge taking bridal portraits. I try and look serene. Ralph and I leave to take pictures in a dirty stairwell, while the limo and my family wait.

4:30-ish pm: I leave in the limo with my family. Shockingly, it is only very lightly sprinkling. Meanwhile, Ralph and my big brother Dave drive together in our sexy getaway car.....



4:35 pm: In the limo, I down our water bottle and eat a melting chocolate energy bar thanks to Janet. I can't believe that I did not get chocolate on my dress. I still have a terrible migrane. Phone calls go back and forth about whether we take pictures at the dock behind our venue or not.



4:45 pm: We arrive at the dock behind our venue to take more pics only 15 minuutes late. I get out and the rain and crazy wind make me change my mind. I get back in the limo and we are driven to the venue entrance. We arrive to see our new ceremony space. I think it looks just fine given our situation. I later learn that Ralph was so terribly disappointed with it. There is lots of talk about still trying to move it outside between me, Ralph, Esther, our DOC, and staff at the venue. I put all the desicions on Ralph's head, since my brain left like it was going to explode.

5:00 pm: We take family portraits. I can't believe that Ralph and I forgot to make a list of pictures we wanted. Our photographer does really well considering our oversight. All our family was on time and fully coorporates - I have a great time seeing everyone looking so cute and happy. I think my eyes stayed open during the picture-taking.

5:30-ish pm: Ralph and I try and take some outdoor portraits. We run into a zillion people coming to another wedding right across the way from us. They are surprised to see a bride that they don't recognize. It is still drizzling so we take some pics under covered areas, except when Ralph wasn't looking I posed for one in some great foliage getting slightly wet in the process. As we begin our return to the VIP room, we run into some of our early arriving guests. They are pretty surprised to see us.

5:45-6:15 pm: I hang out in the VIP room; I am standing not sitting, as the families come and in out. Head is absolutely killing me. My mom is trying to make thank you cards and divvy up tips. I sip on some Sprite and Coke. Why is there no water around????? Bass music is pulsating through the room, and I ask Ralph to take care of it. He does and gets them to also tone down the steel drums from the wedding I ran into (I had no idea). I cannot belive that all 3 events are going on at the same time in the same location, as they promised that it would never happen, but tell myself to save the angry for later. I do exactly that.

6:30 pm: Showtime! I walk in, or more like stumble. My footing was really off especially with both my parents by my sides. Our officiant signals for us to slow down, since the aisle is ridiculously short in our new space. My feet are KILLING me for standing up in the VIP room for so long. What was I thinking? I manage to cry gracefully (I think) , but facing our friends and family and not completely bawling out of such happiness was really hard. As we say our vows, I remember to bend my knees so I don't faint or anything. I try hard to listen to what our officiant says. But I am so distracted by Ralph and being ridiclously happy to remember it all. I snatch my ring by accident - whoops. I put Ralph's ring on him exactly how I was instructed NOT to do. We have no problem kissing each other, which was a problem at the rehearsal. Then we disappear to the VIP room.

7:00 pm: Picture time in the park. But first we go down another dirty staircase. It is still too windy for the dock. We take pictures on some bridges and by some waterfalls. A server offers us some appetizers, and I force one down, but I still feel ill. We walk into the mulch to take some shots under a huge Banyon tree (Ralph can't believe I can do this in heels and in a wedding dress). We go to our original ceremony site and cocktail site for some pics.

7:49 pm: My veil taken is off and we return just to catch the end of the cocktail hour. We are greeted by a claps and cheers. I couldn't be more happy. Flavia gets Ralph a beer and gets me some water (begrudgingly, I might add). I eat another appetizer or two, but I just feel too ill to eat. I hope the water kicks in to help my headache.

Okay, all the rest in one more post.

"My husband"

I just love saying that. I went to a shindig (yes, I used that word) tonight and got to introduce Ralph as what he really is. It was cool.

But, I still don't have weddings completely out of my head since I am currently trying to unearth all our leftover wedding stuff.

Anyway, as I was talking to one of my moms today, it occurred to me that I perhaps I should recount what my wedding day was like...

All pictures are from my amazing girl Jade of Uplift Photography.

7:15 am: woke up 30 minutes early. Immediately begin making boutonnieres in bed. I remember how much I hate to wire orchids. Am somewhat stressed at how non pretty they are.



8:15 am: Meet Ralph in lobby for quick breakfast. We are pretty relaxed.

8:45 am: Start making corsages, which go by really quickly. Very relaxing.



9:20 am: Jade comes by to keep me company and take some shots. I start making Donna's and my bouquet.





10:30 am: My mom picks me up for my 11am hair appointment.

11:00 am: I am waiting and waiting with people ignoring me at the salon.

11:20 am: Finally meet my stylist, who immediately pegs me as a bride. I lie and say my updo is for my mom's b-day gala.

12:50 pm: Stylist finally finishes my updo after rushing through the end. I have to repeatedly tell her to do something about my frizzies. I wish that she knew I was a bride, so she would know that my hair is really important. Why did I bother saving a buck? Then I remember that it is a $100 hairdo. I am not cheap, it is just an overpriced hairdresser!

1:00 pm: I get to my makeup appointment just in time. Filberto is totally ready for me and has everything laid out for me.

1:10 pm: I notice how crappy it is outside and it starts raining. I think it will pass.

1:30 pm: I get THE call. The venue calls my cell to determine if we should move the ceremony indoors. I have 15 minutes to give them an answer. I immediately call Ralph, who is miffed at having to give our decision so soon. Many phonecalls occur about this (Filberto is super cool and understands). Ralph then calls in a panic as he gets kicked out of his hotel room. Massive headache sets in.

2:55 pm: I get back to the hotel, a little over 3o minutes late. I am completely unshaven and have NO time to take a mini shower. I dry shave my underarms. I am totally mortified that I have forgotten to take care of this simple task, but know that Ralph will not be surprised or upset.

3:15 pm: Photographer and videographer arrive in my room. I tie the ribbons on the bouquets. I have a hard time with mine and tie it over and over. I am trying to stay calm. I think I get a few more calls about moving everything inside.



3:40 pm: Jade comes over and helps me put my dress on. I didn't even think I would need help with this - duh!



4:10 pm Ralph and I take pictures in the hotel and wet garden. I feel better with him by my side, but still with massive headache. I need to drink water desperately.

I'll wait to detail the rest of the day tomorrow or so....

Annoyances, but not wholly unexpected ones

After a little over a week of unanswered emails from the catering coordinator at our venue, I received an email informing me that she was no longer with them. Well, I was pissed to say the least, but I will admit that it wasn't completely unexpected. It is not that I didn't like her or anything (quite the contrary) but when we signed the contract with her a year ago, she was brand new and had a long history in the hotel catering biz. It sent up a few pink flags in my brain. Coupled with the fact that this has happened to several other brides, in several other South Florida venues, why couldn't it happen to us?

It couldn't have been worse timing though, considering that we aren't scheduled to be back in Miami until the week before our wedding. Why of why weren't we informed while we were in Miami???

The good news is that our new coordinator has been their awhile, and what I have heard about her is very good (hence yesterday's google search).

The bad news... well some important things that I expected her to know about us, things like who our other vendors are, well she didn't have any record of these things.

There is so much minutia in party planning, that I am so scared that I don't know all the things I need to review with her.

Well, we will see - I am trying to stay positive.

Another somewhat positive outcome is that I also learned that the catering discount we were supposed to be getting from a third party was not put through. This in itself a big deal! Our new coordinator was able to give us all the info to get this all straightened out.

Oh headache!

Keys to planning on a wedding from afar (part 1)

I don't have a wedding planner and I don't really have time during the day to talk to people on the East coast (damn the three hour time difference). Add in my routine trips to remote places out of the country, and you have very little time to get things done in regards to vendors and planning my wedding. Given this, I thought I would jot down a list of things that have made my life easier.

(A) Using as few vendors as possible. This leaves you with fewer people to coordinate with. Seems simple, right? Well, not necessarily... by doing this you might lose some of your originality/creativity and maybe even pay more.

For example, my venue includes, catering, cake, bar, tables, linens, chairs, and chinaware. They have a great menu, and their chef has been amendable to a certain dish that I will discuss later, but if I wanted something really out of the ordinary I might be SOL. As far as the rest is concerned, it is all standard white stuff. If I want something colorful and fancy, like what you see below, I would have to hire another company (or two) to accommodate me.

My reception venue with fancy linens, chairs, and charger plates supplied from an another vendor.

If your venue doesn't include catering, I found that some caterers will also will rent linens, tables, and chairs, but at usually higher costs. When they pad their rental fees with little things like $2 more per chair and $0.50 extra a napkin it really does add up.

THE most adored of wedding chairs - the gold chivari. Would you rather pay $10 or $6 to rent these suckers each?

So do be wary of all-inclusives. You need to know how much things cost. Which lead me to...

(B) Being knowledgeable about costs. I did some homework early on and tried to get as many quotes as possible. For me, it was all through email or from internet sites. This is great as it helped me make a reasonable and realistic budget. It gives you a very quick idea of the vendor you are working with. Are they totally trying to fleece you or are they too good to be true. It will also give you an idea of what figures to throw out when negotiating. It also doesn't hurt to get non-wedding costs (i.e. catering for a non wedding 4 course meal). I tried as often as I could to not mention the W word - but it wasn't always easy.

(C) Communicating with other brides. This has been a lifesaver for me. By talking to other brides, I was able to get valuable vendor recommendations. In the case of of my DJ, due to the overwhelmingly perfect reviews - I only had 2 interviews to schedule and only one I actually attended. It was so wonderfully efficient. For each service needed, I have had about 2 to 6 vendors that I have deemed appropriate to contact based on reviews and price range. I can generally get this list culled down to 2-4 by the time I actually need to interview them in person. And when you have only a week at a time to visit your hometown, this is a key timesaver.

As an extra bonus, by communicating with other brides, I also became privy to all sorts of deals and discounts. Two really great ones included 25% off my total venue and catering costs(!!!) and $150 off my bridal gown. I would have NEVER known about these hidden little gems had I not talked to others. Two great sites to meet other brides in your neck of the woods are the local forums/boards at theknot and weddingbee.

A recent wedding cake eating contest - nothing like healthy(?) competition in the bridal community

I have many more thoughts on this, and will leave it open as to how many parts might remain in this series. In the meantime, what (or who) has helped you the most in planning your wedding?

Venue Decisions

Continuing from my last post.... after lunch at the Van Dyke Cafe, I called up the coordinator at Jungle Island and asked if we could take another visit. We checked it out, and we were just as pleased with it as we were a few hours before. We toured the park a bit, and then I had to say goodbye to Ralph's moms. My mom and I stayed until closing, though, and saw the world's largest crocodile in captivity, Crocosaurus. They also have the world's largest cat, Hercules, which just so happens to be a liger.


FUN STUFF!

So, my mom and I went home and discussed which venue would be best, either the Jungle or The Spanish Monastery.

It actually wasn't a hard decision. One was more us, easier to deal with, and best on the pocketbooks. So, yes, Ralph and I will be married among the crocs, liger, and all the parrots at Jungle Island. Crazy, but true.

Venue Reviews - Day 2

Another early morning adventure... We started off by going to Jungle Island. It is located very close to Downtown Miami and South Beach.



It is very convenient to get to. I was really concerned that it would be too theme park-like. But when we entered the building it was nothing like Disney World or any of those Orlando theme park attractions. I guess it has something to so with it being so new. The coordinator in charge of us, showed us around for the potential outside spots. It was lovely and so much better than any of us expected. And pricewise - this place was within reach.


Then, we headed to the beach to the Miami Beach Botanical Garden. I feel bad about this place, because I couldn't help but compare it to Fairchild. That is a very unfair comparison. It is a lovely garden, but it is tiny. The room and the outside area that we would have for our reception was right next to the highway.



That pretty much killed it for me. In hindsight, I shouldn't have even considered this place, because there is also no parking for guests. That is something I just don't want to deal with.

So, we headed to the Van Dyke Cafe on Lincoln Road for some great food and terrible service (see that it what happens when they automatically include an 18% tip).

As I sat there enjoying my company and the Florida weather, decided to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. I made my decision that it was going to be between two of the venues.

Venue Reviews

I promised to talk about all the venues I perused in March. I had a 2 day whirlwind adventure with my mom, and Ralph's moms. This is what we did on Day #1:

(1) We first visited Cauley Square in Cutler Ridge. It was a bit of a hike to get there from the airport area. There isn't too much by there either. Hotels in the area are even a bit sketchy. But still, the tropical garden was too beautiful to pass up a visit.

However, it is a bit cramped in person. But what really turned off of this otherwise lovely location, was their bathrooms. They were tiny and really rustic. Now I am not a prissy girl, you should see some of the places or lack thereof I have "gone". But for my wedding, I am not offering my guests in their fancy garb a lavatory like that. Yeah, that bad.

(2) Next we saw the lovely Deering Estate. Honestly, I love this place. However, they were terribly strict about that number of guests we could have that would work with our budget. It is too bad, because it is really pretty:


(3) Right by there is a place called Palmetto Bay Village Center. It is the old headquarters for Burger King, that has now been renovated as office space. The place is huge and had some lovely options for us.

Potential cocktail area

Potential Reception site

However, we agreed that it is a tad too modern for us and not warm enough for our personalities.

(4) Then we raced from South Miami to North Miami to the gorgeous Spanish Monastery. These pictures don't do it justice.

Potential ceremony site

Potential reception area

The bad thing was that no Saturdays were available for March. That didn't thrill me, plus it was a bit more than I wanted to spend. But it is very lovely and therefore an option.

Whew! That was a long day. But that didn't stop me from dragging my mom to Laurenzo's, an amazing Italian Market, and then Krispy Kreme (my #1 guilty pleasure).

Next up... Day #2

Checks!!!!

My last post was on my slight compulsiveness to stay on track of those checklists. But we have done so much already, 3 months into planning, that I thought I would share:

1) We have got a venue and wedding date that we like (we did get scooped for ideal date), but that is ok.

2) We have a caterer and cake baker (ok they were included in the venue, but it still counts as 2 checks).

3) I have a dress that I am so in love with (ok not as much as my fiance or cat).

4) We have colors! Yep, we are going for pool blue, lime green, and ivory. No, we aren't having a pool blue-lime green-ivory wedding , but those colors will be in our centerpieces and invites. And with no bridal party, I don't have to make my girlfriends and family wear those colors, although it might be fun to do that to them too (go go bridezilla).

5) We have a guest list that makes us both happy.

6) We have witnesses/"the signers"

According to theknot, I have completed 42 checks, and have 184 to go. That means I have done 18.5% of the work in 19.8% of our engagement (yes I am a nerd). Damn, I totally thought I was well ahead of the game! It is amazing what a little bit of math can do for your self-confidence. Well, I am still trying to stay on the ball at the very least, as I am off to drag the fiance to get the rest of our very simple vases at 50% off.

Since this post has no pics, I thought I would share my bridal "inspiration"

Venue bashing

While researching venue locations I was shocked, SHOCKED, at what some of these places charge and what they give in return. One of the places I fell in love with was Fairchild Botanic Garden in South Miami. I became smitten with this place while taking one of my botanical courses, where I often had to tour the very large and grand garden. I often saw weddings being set up there. Even though I was single at the time, I envisioned my wedding there amongst the gorgeous meticulously cared for plants.


For about $7500 it can also be yours. Yes, that is right, it costs almost as much as my car did when I bought it 5 years ago. What, you may ask, does $7500 get you... 6 hours in the garden with 100 of your closest family and friends (beyond that is $20/person extra). That is it, no catering, linens, tables, chairs - nothing. Well, since I am on a budget, this place was simply out of the question.

Other exorbitant places include the lovely Vizcaya in Coconut Grove (over $12k), the Deering Estate (only about $5k) in South Miami. What is even more shocking is that these are all county Parks. Again, for these prices you get the pleasure of some of your friends to be there for a few hours. You still have to hire their security guards, use their over priced tent company, pay for janitorial services and additional permit fees, and follow their very strict rules. This is, of course in addition to all the food, rentals, and entertainment. Well, many people have that much dough to throw away. While touring the Deering Estate, I found out that they are booked solid every weekend (even in the nasty hurricane season).

For awhile I thought we weren't going to be able to afford an outside garden wedding in Miami. Thankfully, we did find a place that is much more affordable, without sacrificing too much. But more about that in a later post.

Eye Candy!!!

So I found a venue (yes I should say "we", but I really did find it and research it) - more about that in another post. For now, I will chronicle my hunt for a dress.

While I was in Miami, I had to do a bit of shopping with my mom. It was fun, but I definitely had my game face on. Luckily we had no high pressure salespeople. Shocking!

(1) First stop - Nicole Miller

I love this dress, but have decided that I want a little more drama from behind.

(2) Next stop was Coral Gables Bridal where I found this very bridal Pronovias
As pretty as it is, it just isn't what I am looking for.

(3) So, once I was back in CA, I decided to do some shopping on my own at House of Fashion:

OK - I am totally not going to wear this. This is a great example of NOT listening to what others recommend and to not necessarily buy what you can pull off.

Here are two others that I like from this store:

This one fits me on my bottom half, but NOT on the top. So it looks pretty awkward. Although the pics don't demonstrate it well, I do have curves in this dress. I love the drama from behind!

I would replace this with one of my Grams' brooches.

Yes there are cups in there

This one I really liked. Unfortunately, my overworked saleslady didn't take good pictures. As it turns out, it is a really popular dress. So it is no longer an option. For the amount of money, I don't want to wear what so many other brides are wearing. Call me crazy, but I want to have a little bit of originality in my garb.

More soon, as I have appointments set for this weekend!