Wedding Day Run-through: the final, most fun bits!

Again, sorry for the grammatical errors.

Pretty much all of these pictures are from rock star Jade at Uplift Photography.

8:10 pm: Reception time! A panicked DOC tells us that two couples have no seats. I immediately feel that I must have screwed up the seating. I later learn that our venue only put 8 instead of 10 seats at one table, and another couple just flat out refused to sit where they were assigned. It all worked out in the end, because of a few no-shows. But I was kicking myself around for a good amount of time over it. I, then, exchange my evil heels for my ballroom shoes. Ralph and I dance as husband and wife. We do what is comfy for us and had a great time with each other being silly.


Next is the parent's dance. I immediately hear the song and wonder why the DJ had to pick the longer live version of Fleetwood Mac's Landside. I hate recorded live music played at events. My dad does a great job for a man that hasn't danced in close to 25 years. We have a fun time being silly too. I notice that Esther loves our song choice.

(I love how cute Ralph and Esther look here. The look I am giving my dad is awesome!)

Toasts are wonderful by our siblings. Donna was awesome and gave an unexpectedly non-sarcastic speech. Dave's speech was exactly what I expected. I hoped that everyone got his humor. I certainly did and I loved it.



8:20 pm: Dinner is being served. The seated appetizer was horribly disappointing. I LOVE crab cakes, but this one tasted eh, and the sauce is much too spicy for a broad audience. I eat like 3 tiny bites.

(apparently Adam liked it and even ate the crayfish garnish)

The Hearts of Palm salad eventually comes out, but where are the Hearts of Palm? It is good, but where is the best part? I get some aspirin in me, now that I have food in my belly, and immediately feel better. The main entree takes forever to come out and Ralph and I are ansy to go to each table and visit with our guests. I finally take a bathroom break by demanding that my new sistah Donna come to help me go. I return to find my entree, which is in some serious need of salt. I can't find the salt, as it was hidden behind the flowers, I eat three bites and then go and visit the tables. Our DJ tells us that we are running late due to the very slow dinner service and need to start the music. We hold him off for a bit to go and visit the tables, but we still miss 2 tables. I still feel really bad about this.


Now, I have no idea about time....

• With no headache anymore, I finally drank some Champagne. I think I drank a single glass over the entire night.
• I had a blast on the dancefloor and was so glad that Ralph stayed with me.

• I kept complaining about the heat. It was hot the moment we walked in - what was up with that?
• I noticed people with no shoes and then kindly asked someone to make sure that the flip flops were placed out. They finally appeared and I directed the barefooters there. It was a hit!

(I think this is a Marjie foot)

• The DJ played all the songs we requested and included a few songs that were right up our alley, however, they weren't mixed that well and he cut out alot of the crecendos and best parts of songs. Ralph and I were really sad about this, but understood that he needed to fit all our "must play" songs into a limited amount of time since dinner took too long. It didn't ruin anything for us and we were happy that the dancefloor was always kicking.
  
• We visited with people outside, where it was much cooler. I danced a bit out there too.

• My mom was in the bathroom during the playing of Dancing Queen. I tried to find her, but I didn't look there.
• I kept checking in with my Dad who was very amused at all the fun people were having.
• Cake cutting time. We had no idea what to do! We winged it and then winged it again.

• Garter removal. I had no idea what was coming! I sat out there and for some reason had no idea what the DJ was going to do. Ralph's dance was soooo classic Ralph. I love that he chugged the beer - because he knew what was coming.

• Bouquet Toss. Totally planned. I knew exactly who I was throwing it to. She just moved, but then actually caught it.

• Garter Toss. I see that my brother Dave actually went for it.

• More dancing insues. Ralph stayed on the dancefloor all night.

(Ralph's Grandmother - who rocked it all night. She says that this is the way she is 90-something young)

• We end the night with one slow song (Clapton's Wonderful Tonight) and then go into Journey's Don't Stop Believing. Somehow we become encircled as we dance/sing the silly song. The funny thing is that Journey followed us on our honeymoon and had a concert right next to our resort. We totally tailgated and stayed for half the show. I have a feeling that Don't Stop Believing was saved for the last song too. I was too chilly to wait for it.

• I try to give away as many flowers as possible. I snag a bunch of leftover favors. I try and help with clean up as Ralph yells at me to stop. I give in and we head off to our sassy little Chevy Cobalt. People keep telling me that the limo is waiting for us... he he, that ride was for my parents and family.
• We go back to the hotel room only to find this (thanks to Heather, Emily, and Corey)....

There is no other way to say it: we had a freaking blast!!!! Thank you to everyone. xoxoxo

(my amazing necklace was Ralph's gift to me - it was the most perfect gift ever)



(Our last day in Hawai'i, walking the coastline)

Keys to planning on a wedding from afar (part 1)

I don't have a wedding planner and I don't really have time during the day to talk to people on the East coast (damn the three hour time difference). Add in my routine trips to remote places out of the country, and you have very little time to get things done in regards to vendors and planning my wedding. Given this, I thought I would jot down a list of things that have made my life easier.

(A) Using as few vendors as possible. This leaves you with fewer people to coordinate with. Seems simple, right? Well, not necessarily... by doing this you might lose some of your originality/creativity and maybe even pay more.

For example, my venue includes, catering, cake, bar, tables, linens, chairs, and chinaware. They have a great menu, and their chef has been amendable to a certain dish that I will discuss later, but if I wanted something really out of the ordinary I might be SOL. As far as the rest is concerned, it is all standard white stuff. If I want something colorful and fancy, like what you see below, I would have to hire another company (or two) to accommodate me.

My reception venue with fancy linens, chairs, and charger plates supplied from an another vendor.

If your venue doesn't include catering, I found that some caterers will also will rent linens, tables, and chairs, but at usually higher costs. When they pad their rental fees with little things like $2 more per chair and $0.50 extra a napkin it really does add up.

THE most adored of wedding chairs - the gold chivari. Would you rather pay $10 or $6 to rent these suckers each?

So do be wary of all-inclusives. You need to know how much things cost. Which lead me to...

(B) Being knowledgeable about costs. I did some homework early on and tried to get as many quotes as possible. For me, it was all through email or from internet sites. This is great as it helped me make a reasonable and realistic budget. It gives you a very quick idea of the vendor you are working with. Are they totally trying to fleece you or are they too good to be true. It will also give you an idea of what figures to throw out when negotiating. It also doesn't hurt to get non-wedding costs (i.e. catering for a non wedding 4 course meal). I tried as often as I could to not mention the W word - but it wasn't always easy.

(C) Communicating with other brides. This has been a lifesaver for me. By talking to other brides, I was able to get valuable vendor recommendations. In the case of of my DJ, due to the overwhelmingly perfect reviews - I only had 2 interviews to schedule and only one I actually attended. It was so wonderfully efficient. For each service needed, I have had about 2 to 6 vendors that I have deemed appropriate to contact based on reviews and price range. I can generally get this list culled down to 2-4 by the time I actually need to interview them in person. And when you have only a week at a time to visit your hometown, this is a key timesaver.

As an extra bonus, by communicating with other brides, I also became privy to all sorts of deals and discounts. Two really great ones included 25% off my total venue and catering costs(!!!) and $150 off my bridal gown. I would have NEVER known about these hidden little gems had I not talked to others. Two great sites to meet other brides in your neck of the woods are the local forums/boards at theknot and weddingbee.

A recent wedding cake eating contest - nothing like healthy(?) competition in the bridal community

I have many more thoughts on this, and will leave it open as to how many parts might remain in this series. In the meantime, what (or who) has helped you the most in planning your wedding?

Knottie love

I have mentioned on many occasions that I have an online group of girls that I converse with. These lovely brides and wives I have all met on theknot, which is an amazing resource for wedding planning. I can't give these women enough credit for helping me through this process without a wedding planner.

Case in point, when it came time to interview a DJ in June, during our 1 week wedding extravaganza in Miami, we only had to interview one DJ. That was it. Talk about an efficient use of time. The interviewed DJ, along with one other company, just came so overwhelmingly well recommended we had to take the time to check him out. We were very happy to meet a professional business owner who takes pride in serving his clients needs to a T, all while creating a great ambiance. It couldn't have been a more wonderful interview (and it was Ralph's first). The plus... we can do everything online! We can pick our first dance song, our do-not-play-or-die songs ("Love Shack" for Ralph - who knew?), our cake cutting song, you name it, and all online. That was the clincher for Ralph. He is all about keeping me calm cool and collected for this big event and so this is just another make-our-life-easier-when-planning-afar choices (and the last recent check I was blogging about).

But anyway, this post is about theknot, and all those ladies that have given me recommendations and advice. Thanks! Oh and I am not the only one who feels this way, check out this article from the NY Times.

Timeline schimeline

Any place you go to learn about weddings and wedding planning, you will find that there are helpful timelines to help the clueless (I mean most people, I assume, have never done this before). Each month or so, they give you a whole bunch of checklists of what to do. See what the website theknot tells me to do:

4/18/2008 - 5/18/2008
THIS MONTHS TO DOS

		Choose a color scheme, if you so desire, taking into account the decor of the rooms/areas you have reserved for your ceremony and reception.
		Start investigating any ethnic customs or cultural traditions you might want to incorporate into your ceremony or reception.
		Start auditioning reception bands or DJs.

Here is another one from the magazine Real Simple Weddings:
It is nice to have. The only problem we are having is that our schedules don't exactly mesh with these timelines. We travel apart and often, so scheduling is critical to our sanity. Put wedding planning on top of all that and you have a mess. Here how one of our conversations go:

Me: So how long do we have together before one of us leaves?
Him: Ummm 1.5 weeks, then I go to Costa Rica for 4 weeks and then I am back for 3 weeks and then go to Brazil for 3 weeks.
Me: And when you are in Costa Rica, I am in Belize for 4 weeks and then I am back for a week and then I go to Brazil for 2 weeks.
Him: So how long do we have together this summer - only 1 week?
Me: Yep - I guess we gotta go register then.

So for pretty much everything on those checklists we have to do quite far in advance. Otherwise, one of us (most likely me), has to make an executive decision. I am not too pleased about getting behind on these checklists, but it looks like it is going to happen, since there is no way I am auditioning DJs from CA. I only hope we start investigating traditions by May 15th:-)