Keys to planning on a wedding from afar (part 1)

I don't have a wedding planner and I don't really have time during the day to talk to people on the East coast (damn the three hour time difference). Add in my routine trips to remote places out of the country, and you have very little time to get things done in regards to vendors and planning my wedding. Given this, I thought I would jot down a list of things that have made my life easier.

(A) Using as few vendors as possible. This leaves you with fewer people to coordinate with. Seems simple, right? Well, not necessarily... by doing this you might lose some of your originality/creativity and maybe even pay more.

For example, my venue includes, catering, cake, bar, tables, linens, chairs, and chinaware. They have a great menu, and their chef has been amendable to a certain dish that I will discuss later, but if I wanted something really out of the ordinary I might be SOL. As far as the rest is concerned, it is all standard white stuff. If I want something colorful and fancy, like what you see below, I would have to hire another company (or two) to accommodate me.

My reception venue with fancy linens, chairs, and charger plates supplied from an another vendor.

If your venue doesn't include catering, I found that some caterers will also will rent linens, tables, and chairs, but at usually higher costs. When they pad their rental fees with little things like $2 more per chair and $0.50 extra a napkin it really does add up.

THE most adored of wedding chairs - the gold chivari. Would you rather pay $10 or $6 to rent these suckers each?

So do be wary of all-inclusives. You need to know how much things cost. Which lead me to...

(B) Being knowledgeable about costs. I did some homework early on and tried to get as many quotes as possible. For me, it was all through email or from internet sites. This is great as it helped me make a reasonable and realistic budget. It gives you a very quick idea of the vendor you are working with. Are they totally trying to fleece you or are they too good to be true. It will also give you an idea of what figures to throw out when negotiating. It also doesn't hurt to get non-wedding costs (i.e. catering for a non wedding 4 course meal). I tried as often as I could to not mention the W word - but it wasn't always easy.

(C) Communicating with other brides. This has been a lifesaver for me. By talking to other brides, I was able to get valuable vendor recommendations. In the case of of my DJ, due to the overwhelmingly perfect reviews - I only had 2 interviews to schedule and only one I actually attended. It was so wonderfully efficient. For each service needed, I have had about 2 to 6 vendors that I have deemed appropriate to contact based on reviews and price range. I can generally get this list culled down to 2-4 by the time I actually need to interview them in person. And when you have only a week at a time to visit your hometown, this is a key timesaver.

As an extra bonus, by communicating with other brides, I also became privy to all sorts of deals and discounts. Two really great ones included 25% off my total venue and catering costs(!!!) and $150 off my bridal gown. I would have NEVER known about these hidden little gems had I not talked to others. Two great sites to meet other brides in your neck of the woods are the local forums/boards at theknot and weddingbee.

A recent wedding cake eating contest - nothing like healthy(?) competition in the bridal community

I have many more thoughts on this, and will leave it open as to how many parts might remain in this series. In the meantime, what (or who) has helped you the most in planning your wedding?

Knottie love

I have mentioned on many occasions that I have an online group of girls that I converse with. These lovely brides and wives I have all met on theknot, which is an amazing resource for wedding planning. I can't give these women enough credit for helping me through this process without a wedding planner.

Case in point, when it came time to interview a DJ in June, during our 1 week wedding extravaganza in Miami, we only had to interview one DJ. That was it. Talk about an efficient use of time. The interviewed DJ, along with one other company, just came so overwhelmingly well recommended we had to take the time to check him out. We were very happy to meet a professional business owner who takes pride in serving his clients needs to a T, all while creating a great ambiance. It couldn't have been a more wonderful interview (and it was Ralph's first). The plus... we can do everything online! We can pick our first dance song, our do-not-play-or-die songs ("Love Shack" for Ralph - who knew?), our cake cutting song, you name it, and all online. That was the clincher for Ralph. He is all about keeping me calm cool and collected for this big event and so this is just another make-our-life-easier-when-planning-afar choices (and the last recent check I was blogging about).

But anyway, this post is about theknot, and all those ladies that have given me recommendations and advice. Thanks! Oh and I am not the only one who feels this way, check out this article from the NY Times.