The importance of communication

From my last post, I thought I would discuss communication. I suppose many would say that it is the most important aspect of marriage. Now my fiance and I weren't always the best communicators. In fact, I believe it was one of the reasons that we broke up after 2 years of dating. During our early years, we never argued. Instead all of our pent up feelings caused us to resent each other.

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During our second time around, though, we changed our ways. Part of it was due to being in a long distance relationship. You either become a good communicators or you break up. So, we discuss stuff all the time now. Sometimes in the form of bickering, but very rarely in the form of full fledged fighting.

Probably one of the most important things I have learned is to not make assumptions. Case in point... Mr. Fiance was discussing our wedding planning the other day with his step-brother and sister-in law and happened to mention that we are pretty much finished with planning. As he relayed this story, I almost choked on my spit. I immediately said to him that he was crazy, Yep he assumed that we didn't have much left to do. This is most likely due to me trying to buffer him from the messy, albeit often necessary, details of the wedding. See - not communicating - on both ends.

I appreciate that we will be forced to talk about maybe some of the unglamorous aspects of marriage. It is one of the things I am most grateful about being engaged. Sure in this day and age, we totally don't NEED to be married. But I really think the process will make our relationship even stronger (plus we get to throw a kickass party!).

What is marriage? Part 1

The actual idea of marriage hasn't escaped me as I plan this whole shebang. I have tried to keep my mind on the mark about what we are actually doing in t-minus 10 months and 3 days.

(from Martha Stewart Weddings)

Lots of other brides I have met over the amazing world wide web, have couples that they refer to as their marriage role models. Often they are parents or grandparents of the couple.
Unfortunately, I am without one. Even further, I think more of my friends are divorced than are married. At some point of time, that bride was exactly in the same position as me. What makes me any different than her? I love my fiance, and even when we were apart I was crazy about him. I know he loves me for me, and that we complement each other so well. But don't all divorcees think this before it all went downhill? I mean surely most of the 50% of marriages don't anticipate that they will end - right? One of the things that has been weighing heavily on my mind, is the line in the traditional vow -"for better or for worse". That is a heavy sentiment. To me it is a given. But, life is a tricky thing, you never know what is around the corner. I know marriages that have ended from spousal financial and/or emotional changes for the worse. I wonder if my lovely fiance has contemplated the same. If I lose it, will he still be there for me? Will he stand by me or give up. This is not to say that I am mentally unstable or anything - just an example. I am pretty sure I know the answers to these questions, but I think we have some stuff to seriously discuss. I have to make sure we are one the same page.

Venue Decisions

Continuing from my last post.... after lunch at the Van Dyke Cafe, I called up the coordinator at Jungle Island and asked if we could take another visit. We checked it out, and we were just as pleased with it as we were a few hours before. We toured the park a bit, and then I had to say goodbye to Ralph's moms. My mom and I stayed until closing, though, and saw the world's largest crocodile in captivity, Crocosaurus. They also have the world's largest cat, Hercules, which just so happens to be a liger.


FUN STUFF!

So, my mom and I went home and discussed which venue would be best, either the Jungle or The Spanish Monastery.

It actually wasn't a hard decision. One was more us, easier to deal with, and best on the pocketbooks. So, yes, Ralph and I will be married among the crocs, liger, and all the parrots at Jungle Island. Crazy, but true.

Venue Reviews - Day 2

Another early morning adventure... We started off by going to Jungle Island. It is located very close to Downtown Miami and South Beach.



It is very convenient to get to. I was really concerned that it would be too theme park-like. But when we entered the building it was nothing like Disney World or any of those Orlando theme park attractions. I guess it has something to so with it being so new. The coordinator in charge of us, showed us around for the potential outside spots. It was lovely and so much better than any of us expected. And pricewise - this place was within reach.


Then, we headed to the beach to the Miami Beach Botanical Garden. I feel bad about this place, because I couldn't help but compare it to Fairchild. That is a very unfair comparison. It is a lovely garden, but it is tiny. The room and the outside area that we would have for our reception was right next to the highway.



That pretty much killed it for me. In hindsight, I shouldn't have even considered this place, because there is also no parking for guests. That is something I just don't want to deal with.

So, we headed to the Van Dyke Cafe on Lincoln Road for some great food and terrible service (see that it what happens when they automatically include an 18% tip).

As I sat there enjoying my company and the Florida weather, decided to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. I made my decision that it was going to be between two of the venues.

Venue Reviews

I promised to talk about all the venues I perused in March. I had a 2 day whirlwind adventure with my mom, and Ralph's moms. This is what we did on Day #1:

(1) We first visited Cauley Square in Cutler Ridge. It was a bit of a hike to get there from the airport area. There isn't too much by there either. Hotels in the area are even a bit sketchy. But still, the tropical garden was too beautiful to pass up a visit.

However, it is a bit cramped in person. But what really turned off of this otherwise lovely location, was their bathrooms. They were tiny and really rustic. Now I am not a prissy girl, you should see some of the places or lack thereof I have "gone". But for my wedding, I am not offering my guests in their fancy garb a lavatory like that. Yeah, that bad.

(2) Next we saw the lovely Deering Estate. Honestly, I love this place. However, they were terribly strict about that number of guests we could have that would work with our budget. It is too bad, because it is really pretty:


(3) Right by there is a place called Palmetto Bay Village Center. It is the old headquarters for Burger King, that has now been renovated as office space. The place is huge and had some lovely options for us.

Potential cocktail area

Potential Reception site

However, we agreed that it is a tad too modern for us and not warm enough for our personalities.

(4) Then we raced from South Miami to North Miami to the gorgeous Spanish Monastery. These pictures don't do it justice.

Potential ceremony site

Potential reception area

The bad thing was that no Saturdays were available for March. That didn't thrill me, plus it was a bit more than I wanted to spend. But it is very lovely and therefore an option.

Whew! That was a long day. But that didn't stop me from dragging my mom to Laurenzo's, an amazing Italian Market, and then Krispy Kreme (my #1 guilty pleasure).

Next up... Day #2